• Josh

I Did It For Me

Updated: Feb 16

I’m sorry to state an uncomfortable fact: When you saw good in me, it was only an act. You thought I was selfless; that’s just what I’ve lacked. I wanted the benefits only, you see. I didn’t do it for you. I did it for me.

When I give my money and time for the poor, My charity’s seen with respect and allure. I’m just grabbing points, to increase my social score. I did it to curry some favor from thee. I didn’t do it for them. I did it for me.

I sought good ideas and fought bad ones to death, I tried to speak only the Truth with each breath, Promoted real dialogue as a new shibboleth. Why? I think I’m smart; wanted you to agree. I didn’t do it for you. I did it for me.

When you needed my help, and it was hard to ask, I stepped right up to assist in your task. But I’m telling you now what is behind my mask. Someday I might need your reciprocity. I didn’t do it for you. I did it for me.

When tragedy struck, and a part of you died, I held your hand, and together, we cried. You needed a friend, but I’m sorry: I lied. That friendship lights darkness, I wanted to believe. I didn’t do it for you. I did it for me.

And even now, as I confess to my sin, I just feign humility to cover my skin. This whole thing’s a ruse; the veneer wears so thin. If I confess, then I’ll get off scot-free. I don’t do it for you. I do it for me.

If I accidentally became a good friend; If I gave what you needed, and with joy did I lend; If I did some right deeds; if some hearts I did mend; If I learned moral teachings, and helped them to trend; If the world was advanced toward a Kingdom of Ends; You should know that it was only pretend.

Right actions, but all performed selfishly. I picked the Good lock, since I don’t have the key. A better world; a failure of morality. I didn’t do it for you. I did it for me.

#ChineseRoom #Poetry

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